Category Archives: Christmas
Mail Ballots Overwhelm Election System
Dear Mr. Santa: According to our figures some 26 million mail ballots remain outstanding from the November election. The Bad Orange Man is very unhappy. It is, however, our hope that as a U.S.P.S. contractor you will do better with the special election in Georgia.
Sincerely,
U.S.P.S.
Jan 5 is “election day” in Georgia for the U.S. Senate run-off:
But 1,471,144 have already voted as of Dec. 21. And of those, 569,504 voted by mail out of 1,321,011 mail ballots requested.
Figures provided by University of Florida Professor Michael McDonald
Standard Christmas Gift Return Cartoon
This is the time of the year cartoonists like to head over to the gift return department. Just draw a dissatisfied customer returning some unwanted political gift and presto, it’s back to the holiday schnapps.
My offering this year concerns Nancy Pelosi’s gifts of Christmas present and Christmas past.
The House impeached President Trump just in time for Christmas 2019. Ten years ago The Senate rushed Obamacare through on Christmas Eve. Speaker Pelosi said they had to pass the bill to find out what’s in it. But they’re still not sure.
In 2012The Supreme Court upheld The Affordable Care Act by calling the individual mandate to buy insurance a tax. But in 2017 Congress reduced the mandate to zero. So last month an appeals court ruled that if there’s no revenue there’s no tax, and killed the mandate. Then the court sent the case back to a judge in Texas who says with no mandate there can be no Obamacare. Got that?
Cheers!
Mayor Mike Milks Culture War
President Obama warned Democrats that average Americans don’t want to tear down the system. But it seems some Democratic Primary candidates do. Michael Bloomberg figures he’s just the antidote for that problem. He’s no radical. In fact he was a Republican before he identified as a Democrat. Come to think of it, he was a Democrat before transitioning to Republican. And all without surgery. He’s his own bipartisan caucus. And he’s thinking about tossing his hat in the ring.
Mayor Mike
While Bloomberg was a Republican mayor of New York he supported the police Stop and Frisk program. And the murder rate plunged from 650 a year to 300 during his reign of terror. It’s true that most of those stopped and frisked were minorities, but then so were most of the murder victims. The murder decline could be a coincidence. But what politician wouldn’t take credit for it anyway? Um, Mayor Mike wouldn’t. He apologized for supporting Stop and Frisk.
As for Chick-fil-A, its CEO Dan Cathy is an evangelical Christian. And he tries to run his business by Christian principles. One of those principles was serving the poor through donations to the Salvation Army. But that upset culture warriors. That’s because the Salvation Army holds a traditional view of marriage. Like Obama sort of did, until he didn’t.
But Chick-fil-A needs to make money to do good. So, in an effort to get the world to eat more chicken, the company trimmed the Salvation Army from its Christmas list.
Stock Market December to Remember
Your 401 (k) Goes Bungee Jumping
It was the night before Christmas and the Dow Jones Industrial Average plunged 653 points. But the day after Christmas the bull bounced back for a record 1,000 point gain. Alas, the stock market December to remember continued as the Dow dropped 600 points the following morning. But not to worry. Late in the day the Dow made a record 850 point u-turn to finish with a 260 point gain.
