Tag Archives: nfl

Head Smash Remorse From Myles Garrett

myles garret, nil, remorse, Shakespeare, alas poor Yorick
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Sunday was a bad day for Steelers quarterback Mason Rudolph. He threw four interceptions and his team lost to the Cleveland Browns 21 to 7. But things could get worse. And they did. Browns defensive end Myles Garrett bludgeoned Rudolph in the head medieval mace style with his own helmet.

Remorse

So the No Fun League suspended Garrett indefinitely. But he’s appealing the suspension on Wednesday. And Commissioner Roger Goodell says the key for Myles is remorse.

“We’ll make a judgment on does he have remorse, does he understand why it’s not acceptable, do we understand what he’s going to do to make sure it doesn’t happen again. Those are the things that are going to be very important for us…If they get it and they understand that they make a mistake, and say, ‘I’m committed to changing,’ you’re usually on a good path.”

Obama’s Virtual Son

140121-obama-son-nfl-In a long interview with David Remnick of The New Yorker, President Obama once again commented on the son he never had. This time he refused to allow the hypothetical tyke to play in the NFL.

As for being a fan himself, and the guilty thrill of watching the real sons of other people get creamed, the president  had this to say:

 “These guys, they know what they’re doing. They know what they’re buying into. It is no longer a secret. It’s sort of the feeling I have about smokers, you know?”

Wonder if he’d let his imaginary son serve in Afghanistan?

 

NFL Gangster Style

 

130703-nfl-gangster-cartoonJohn Facenda was known as The Voice of God. He was famous for his over-the-top NFL Film productions glorifying the manly ideal of the players. Now pro athletes glorify themselves as gangsters and rappers. At least that’s how Jason Whitlock sees it at Fox Sports. He says, “… popular culture has installed Tony Soprano as America’s most celebrated and revered icon above Joe Montana”.

The Wall Street Journal says that on a psychological profile Aaron Hernandez scored a perfect 10 on focus and a 1 on social maturity.

Mongo

Alex Karras died Wednesday. He played football for the Detroit Lions. He was also a pretty funny guy who appeared on on Johnny Carson and in movies.

In one of Karras’ most famous scenes, as Mongo in  Mell Brook’s “Blazing Saddles”, he slugged a horse knocking it out cold. Blazing saddles could not be made today. There would be naked starlet PETA protests  (this is bad?), and the horse would be evaluated against his baseline concussion history and required to sit out for at least a week. Blazing Saddles mocked race relations, sexuality, Hollywood, the American Frontier, and Methodists. It fails the Civil Discourse test miserably. It’s hilarious.

I asked a really bright and hip young woman editor if she knew who Mongo was. She said, ” I can’t believe it! You’re the second person to ask me that today and until now, no, I’d never heard of him.”

Pop culture references are tricky.

Replacement Refs

I thought I’d take a break from drawing about lying, incompetent politicians and instead draw about stupid, incompetent NFL replacement refs.

Here’s a Bleacher Report that looks into who the replacement refs really are, including one who was kicked out of the Lingerie League!