Category Archives: football

Head Smash Remorse From Myles Garrett

myles garret, nil, remorse, Shakespeare, alas poor Yorick
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Sunday was a bad day for Steelers quarterback Mason Rudolph. He threw four interceptions and his team lost to the Cleveland Browns 21 to 7. But things could get worse. And they did. Browns defensive end Myles Garrett bludgeoned Rudolph in the head medieval mace style with his own helmet.

Remorse

So the No Fun League suspended Garrett indefinitely. But he’s appealing the suspension on Wednesday. And Commissioner Roger Goodell says the key for Myles is remorse.

“We’ll make a judgment on does he have remorse, does he understand why it’s not acceptable, do we understand what he’s going to do to make sure it doesn’t happen again. Those are the things that are going to be very important for us…If they get it and they understand that they make a mistake, and say, ‘I’m committed to changing,’ you’re usually on a good path.”

Maximum Security Instant Replay Interference

instant replay, kentucky Derby, Maximum Security

Maximum Security doesn’t know he finished 17th in the Kentucky Derby. He still thinks he won. But, after reviewing the instant replay for 22 minutes, track officials ruled interference and disqualified the winner for the first time in the 145 year  history of the Run for the Roses.

The instant replay showed Mad Max drifted out of his lane and hip checked War of Will. That caused a chain reaction slowing other horses. Thus the 17th place finish for Maximum Security. He also kicked mud on the horses behind him. Country House, a 65-1 shot, was named the winner.

Trump Maximum Security Tweet

President Trump tweeted that the ruling was “politically incorrect.”

Owner Gary West appealed but was denied. Now he says he’ll sue. But Max doesn’t know anything about that either.

Free Beer in Cleveland

Click Baker Mayfield to enlarge.

LeBron departed Northeast Ohio and now he’s one of Hollywood’s hottest producers. He’s still a good basketball player too.

Meanwhile back in Cleveland rookie quarterback Baker Mayfield came off the bench to lead the Browns to victory over the Jets. Their first in 635 days.The chains came off the coolers and free beer flowed. The town went insane.

NFL White Collar Crime Not Just For Owners Anymore

NFL white collar crime

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Former Cleveland Browns linebacker Mychal Kendricks isn’t your run of the mill pro athlete thug. But he fell in with the wrong crowd. Goldman Sachs.

NFL White Collar Crime

His friend Damilare Sonoiki, a Harvard educated investment analyst at Goldman until 2015, gave him trading tips in exchange for game tickets and cash. And next thing you know Mychal’s busted for insider trading.

He allegedly turned $80,000 into $1.2 million. Not Hillary Clinton scale growth, but not bad.

Still, the Browns cut him. No word yet if he’ll be called up to owner Jimmy Haslem’s Pilot Flying J franchise.

 

Urban Meyer Trick Play

Urban Myer Trick Play

Ohio State assistant coach Zach Smith stands accused of roughing up his former wife. So Urban Meyer fired him. But that might not be enough. The school suspended Coach Meyer while it investigates whether he took action in a timely fashion.

Urban Meyer Trick Play

If he didn’t it could cost him his job and $38 million. It wouldn’t be the first time. His predecessor Jim Tressel was fired because some of his players traded trinkets for for tattoos. In a less enlightened time the Dutch got Manhattan for the same stunt.