Category Archives: crime

Go ahead, Throw a Brick, You’ve Been Through a Lot

throw a brick, you've been through a lot this spring, better to light a candle
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Throw a brick. You’ve been through a lot this spring.

But, remember, it’s better to light a candle than curse the darkness. Oh, wait, I just looked it up and that might be a Chinese proverb. It’ll have to be quarantined.

How about this? It’s better to throw a brick at your own TV than your neighbor’s TV. What could be more American?

Could be the first step back to sanity.

Shared Famous Last Words: I Can’t Breathe

famous last words, I can't breathe, fake money
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George Floyd isn’t the first guy whose last words at the hands of the police were “I can’t breathe.” Eric Garner said the same in 2014 as his breath slipped away while being choked by a cop.

Famous Last Words

Both men were big and black, and protests and riots soon followed. But that’s not all they had had in common. Garner was busted for selling single untaxed cigarettes. In Floyd’s case it was passing an allegedly fake $20 bill.

The Fed has printed fake money to the tune of $3 trillion just since the beginning of the Covid-19 pandemic.

Maybe racism isn’t the only thing here to take your breath away.

FBI Gets no Bite at Apple on Terrorist’s Phone

Apple, fbi, iPhone
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The FBI got no bite from Apple when it fished for help to break into a terrorist’s iPhone. The company turned over cloud information but couldn’t, or wouldn’t crack the phone.

And AG Barr is pissed:

“Thanks to the great work of the FBI — and no thanks to Apple — we were able to unlock Alshamrani’s phones,” Barr said in a press release.



Judge Sullivan Won’t Drop Case Against Flynn

Judge sullivan, drop charges agains flynn, lynch mob,
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The prosecution moved to drop charges against Michael Flynn. But Judge Emmet Sullivan said no. He can’t make the feds prosecute a case they don’t want to, so he’s rounding up a mob led by Judge John Gleeson to do the job.

It’s hard to figure because Judge Sullivan has been tough on prosecutorial overreach in the past. He threw out the conviction of Alaskan Senator Ted Stevens for just that reason. (Obama AG Eric Holder recommended the move.)

He asked at sentencing why Flynn wasn’t charged with treason. Flynn worked for the Turkish government.

Social Distancing Violators Confined

social distancing violators, Paul Manafort, home confinement

Social distancing violators are being arrested. And some are going to jail.

But Paul Manafort was sprung from prison last week. The NYT reports the release of more than 2,500 prisoners into home confinement due to the virus. Just like the rest of us.

Okay, so Manafort’s not Scarface. What did you expect from a cartoon?