Category Archives: Baseball
Hockey players use high tech composite sticks. But major league baseball players use wood bats. And, in an age of encrypted digital communication, they stick to hand signals.
At least that’s what we thought until the great Boston Red Sox Apple Watchgate scandal. The Sox got busted for stealing signs and relaying them via Apple Watches.
The thrill of victory was followed by the agony of debate last night.
Thrill of Victory
The Cleveland Indians won the American league pennant, shutting out the Toronto Blue Jays 3-0. Rookie Ryan Merritt went 4 1/3 scoreless innings in his second major league start.
Merritt got the nod because starting pitcher Trevor Bauer was the victim of a drone strike. A strike of his own drone. Bauer has always done things his own way, and this came as no surprise to anyone around here. So they sewed up his finger and sent him out to the mound for game three.
Bauer’s a gamer, but his sutured pinkie opened up like the elevator doors in The Shining. He never made it out of the first inning. No problem. Mad Manager Tito Franco stitched together a bullpen game and the Tribe won 4-2.
Back to Ryan Merritt, hero of Northeast Ohio. Someone found out he’s getting married, so fans bought everything on his wedding registry. But you could still get him a pillow last I checked.
Agony of Debate
Unfortunately all good things come to an an end and the final presidential debate was about to begin.
Moderator Mike Wallace asked about Supreme Court nominees. Hillary Clinton said the court should stand up for women and transgender bathrooms but not late term babies about to be aborted. She also said the court should overturn Citizen’s United (a Supreme Court case that said it’s okay for a company to make a movie critical of Hillary).
Trump said, “The Supreme Court – it’s what it’s all about.”
The clear winner … Chris Wallace.
Got the idea for this one from a Daniel Henninger column of the same name. It’s not a coincidence. I stole it. But I did embellished it with a picture.
Henninger links Jeter to Joe DiMaggio, another Yankee class act of a different era. DiMaggio was an even better player, plus he married Marilyn Monroe. Henninger’s interest is in great players who shut up and play by the rules.
Jeter won the game with an RBI base hit in his last at-bat in Yankee Stadium. He won’t play shortstop again. But he will come to the plate as a DH at Fenway Park where Ted Williams hit a home run with the last swing of his career.
He got chop single today in a 10-4 loss.
Was looking for a distraction so I switched from Health.gov to the World Series. Being skilled at distraction, my attention drifted from the game to the elaborate facial grooming of the Red Sox players. It went way beyond the fuzz, stubble. and occasional handlebar you expect to see.
So I came up with this.
The cartoon had a caption but one admirer gushed, “it’s so insanely stupid it doesn’t need a caption”.
So, I shaved it.
Slates Amanda Hess grades the growth here.
Twelve ballplayers got 50 game suspensions in the Biogenesis dope scandal. A-Rod got 211. Hardly seems fair, but neither is cheating. Besides nobody likes him. You can see his entertaining press conference in Chicago here.
And here are “The 15 Most Hilarious quotes from Alex Rodriguez’s 2009 ‘I’m sorry for Taking Steroids Interview'” dug up by New York Magazine.