Category Archives: Sports
Not a bad Super Bowl. Mary Katherine Hamm says Lady Gaga and Tom Brady made America great again. Somebody else made off with a Tom Brady jersey. It’s on Amber alert. Other than that, Mary Katherine called it great art and great sport.
You may throw your loose change into a Salvation Army Kettle this time of year. But Ezekiel Elliott scored a touchdown and threw himself in. The ref penalized him for excessive celebration but the NFL elected not to fine him. Presumably with Commissioner Roger Goodell’s approval.
Anyway, who says the NFL is no fun? Here’s a clever clip of Zeek’s stunt spliced onto video of earlier red kettle choreography by Terrell Owns. (It’s the second video on the page.)
Elliott’s Leap of Faith
The Salvation Army says contributions jumped 61% after Elliott’s leap of faith.
The thrill of victory was followed by the agony of debate last night.
Thrill of Victory
The Cleveland Indians won the American league pennant, shutting out the Toronto Blue Jays 3-0. Rookie Ryan Merritt went 4 1/3 scoreless innings in his second major league start.
Merritt got the nod because starting pitcher Trevor Bauer was the victim of a drone strike. A strike of his own drone. Bauer has always done things his own way, and this came as no surprise to anyone around here. So they sewed up his finger and sent him out to the mound for game three.
Bauer’s a gamer, but his sutured pinkie opened up like the elevator doors in The Shining. He never made it out of the first inning. No problem. Mad Manager Tito Franco stitched together a bullpen game and the Tribe won 4-2.
Back to Ryan Merritt, hero of Northeast Ohio. Someone found out he’s getting married, so fans bought everything on his wedding registry. But you could still get him a pillow last I checked.
Agony of Debate
Unfortunately all good things come to an an end and the final presidential debate was about to begin.
Moderator Mike Wallace asked about Supreme Court nominees. Hillary Clinton said the court should stand up for women and transgender bathrooms but not late term babies about to be aborted. She also said the court should overturn Citizen’s United (a Supreme Court case that said it’s okay for a company to make a movie critical of Hillary).
Trump said, “The Supreme Court – it’s what it’s all about.”
The clear winner … Chris Wallace.
It’s not all Zika virus and green diving pool water in Rio. There’s armed robbery too.
Robbed in Rio
Olympic gold medalist, Ryan Lochte and three other swimmers were pulled from a cab and robbed at gunpoint. The bad guys, dressed as cops, held a gun to Lochte’s head. Locate was like, “whatever”:
And then the guy pulled out his gun, he cocked it, put it to my forehead and he said, ‘Get down,’ and I put my hands up, I was like ‘whatever.’ He took our money, he took my wallet. He left my cell phone, he left my credentials.”
Maybe Ryan was just throwing up his hands.
Update: The WSJ reports that the athletes didn’t report the robbery to police. The cops began an investigation after seeing media reports. The International Olympic Committee initially denied those reports because it claimed the United States Olympic Committee told them the heist never happened. Later in the day the USOC changed its story and said it did happen. Locate says the swimmers were under the influence at the time.
Update to the Update: Two of the allegedly robbed swimmers were pulled off their flights home for further questioning in Brazil. CNN says officials are suspicious of discrepancies in their stories and their “jocularity” following an armed robbery. Ryan Locate got out of town ahead of the the law.